We all keep a list in order of priority of things we do and how much we like – or dislike them.
I have several, one of people, acquaintances, business I have to interact with and of course, one of runs.
I usually rearrange the order of the same as more runs take higher places in my lists. The one I am referring to right now is my top ten list of worst runs. The list should really be top 100 as more bad runs make it there than would good ones. I had one of those yesterday, so bad that it got very close to the top almost knocking down a notch my number one worse race of 2007, the infamous Chester 5K. But yesterday’s run was a 12 miler, the type that you should enjoy. I am not even going to bother describing my pace, suffice it to say that every mile of it, including the first 4 in the company of a friend, were monstrous. The last 8 were painful, awful, atrocious.
And then to top it off there was today’s race. I didn’t bother finding excuses not to run at capacity as I normally do – my way of escaping my insecurity and my inability to run fast(er). Today I just ran. I did the best I could and the best I could was close to my worst. No excuses, I just couldn’t do better. Not only I couldn’t do better, I finished completely exhausted…pathetic.
It is just a 5k and I can do one every weekend, I’ve been told…Right, I can do one every weekend and feel this way every time! No matter the frequency of it, it is thorn that bugs me out, I can’t run fast 5K’s no matter how much I train.
It comes naturally for others, it is unattainable for me. But I keep trying; after all I have to keep rearranging that list.
2 years ago