I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Top Ten.

We all keep a list in order of priority of things we do and how much we like – or dislike them.

I have several, one of people, acquaintances, business I have to interact with and of course, one of runs.

I usually rearrange the order of the same as more runs take higher places in my lists. The one I am referring to right now is my top ten list of worst runs. The list should really be top 100 as more bad runs make it there than would good ones. I had one of those yesterday, so bad that it got very close to the top almost knocking down a notch my number one worse race of 2007, the infamous Chester 5K. But yesterday’s run was a 12 miler, the type that you should enjoy. I am not even going to bother describing my pace, suffice it to say that every mile of it, including the first 4 in the company of a friend, were monstrous. The last 8 were painful, awful, atrocious.

And then to top it off there was today’s race. I didn’t bother finding excuses not to run at capacity as I normally do – my way of escaping my insecurity and my inability to run fast(er). Today I just ran. I did the best I could and the best I could was close to my worst. No excuses, I just couldn’t do better. Not only I couldn’t do better, I finished completely exhausted…pathetic.

It is just a 5k and I can do one every weekend, I’ve been told…Right, I can do one every weekend and feel this way every time! No matter the frequency of it, it is thorn that bugs me out, I can’t run fast 5K’s no matter how much I train.

It comes naturally for others, it is unattainable for me. But I keep trying; after all I have to keep rearranging that list.