I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Does it get better?

The wind was brutal again yesterday. I debated running 17 miles but settled for a mid long run of 11 when the cold gusts burnt my face. I knew that there was still another day to get it done. Today I set out to do it knowing that I had no alternative, either get it done today or miss it and go without 2 long runs for this training.

I tried to get friends to join me but if getting friends to meet me in the absence of wine was difficult, getting them to run is nearly impossible. Only one dared the challenge and came out for 4 miles.

Unlike any other time, I settled for the same 4 mile loop 4 times, plus an additional mile. Not one single mile of all 17 felt good; not one was easy. I didn't want to leave that "nest", and as bad as it was, I stayed there wondering all along if I want to go through the next marathon I signed up for.

I find running similar to facing challenges. As hard as my run was today, I hope that something in it will help me later and that maybe, just maybe it will be better soon and if it isn't I'll get over it and look forward to another race to run another time, and I will be okay with that eventually, I won't remain stuck in the same loop. That is how I see the difficult times in my life. There are always better times awaiting somewhere. It is all a matter of perspective and perseverance.

Doing well in a race might appear to be the only goal to get us through the present training but if it is not a good one, as devastated as we may feel at that moment, that feeling will fade and a new goal will take its place.

If it wasn’t for the hope that new goals bring for the future, we would never be able to get through the intensity of the difficult moments of the present.