I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Lent

It is that time of the year when I, as a good Christian, give up something for 40 some days to fortify my faith. I could choose to feed the hungry or help the needy. I could plant a tree but that option is out of the question with frozen soil in single digit weather. So to bring it closer to home, every year I choose to give up drinking. My purpose serves twofold. I give something up in the name of God and I clean my system from the few (!) libations I enjoy during the year. Nothing wrong with that, except that the owner of the local winery loses money on my account and begs me every year to reconsider my choices. Perhaps, he feels I should give up ice fishing instead.

During my cleansing time I feel good. Wine after all is only is small part of me and its temporary cessation should not have a major impact in my life…but it does.

Somehow friends and wine are very much intertwined. I must find another way to entertain my friends who, used to having a drink with me, I must now con into meeting for coffee or have a drink while I sip water and gaze at their glass with longing eyes. No wonder I don’t see them much anymore…

But this time Lent has allowed me to view wine in a different perspective and acknowledge that wine has become multi purpose for me and I have given it the responsibility of not only partaking with my friends (it is a requirement for the new ones I make to like wine) in good times but also to relax me, to calm me down when fear strikes, or when anxiety enters my panorama, it has become the companion that gets me through the night. A lot more than a glass or two of wine should really have to answer for.

So maybe this time it will be different. Distance weakens attachment. A simplistic approach. My attachment, the unhealthiness of the attachment to wine and other things is weakening.

Wine and friends are intertwined and wine, just like friends, should not be needed, just enjoyed, otherwise, “it” enjoys you.

Wine is a friend, and a friend I should seek with hours to live not to get me through the darkness of them.