I am about to run this race. I have prepared..... well, I am finding out that the race is today and I am not as ready as I thought I would be. While I wait having breakfast with friends suddenly I look at my watch and realize that the race is about to start in a few minutes and I don't have my shoes on. Why did I take them off??? Damn, I have done this many times before, I should know better. I should know what to do!!!
I have this feeling of knowing what to do but failing at doing it. I am so frustrated. I rush to the start with my shoes untied but the runners are already gone. I should go home now, what is the point in running now. I don't understand how I could have made a series of mistakes and now I am standing here alone...
I start running. Maybe I can catch some of the runners. I see some now, I am getting close to them; this is good. I feel hopeful. Maybe it's not going to be a waste after all. I keep running, harder than before but somehow I turn on a road and find I am lost. This is not the place where I should be, I am lost and no one can direct me in the right direction.
That feeling comes back. I am tired. I am frustrated.
I wake up.
3 years ago