I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Building back up



“Create the space and energy for something to happen”. Well, that is the thing. I have the energy (sort of) but not the desire so I am having a hard time creating the space for running after the surgery. I am lacking motivation. And running alone is boring right now.

Over the weekend I went for 10 miles, an ambitious goal for me at this time but within a few minutes I had negotiated it down to 8 and at the end of the run, I had settled for 5. And felt good about not doing more.

It is hot, it’s humid, I don’t need to run more. I could push myself for more but why should I? maybe….because I can. And that should be enough.

I know that in order to get somewhere, I have to keep at it and eventually it will happen. But I run just because I run and having it as a goal takes something away from it, I am sure the passion for it will come back to me. But now, sitting on my rock and having my wine is just so much more appealing…After all, I do have motivation, it is just not for the right kind of habit.