I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Friday, September 05, 2008

When Is A Loss Real?

When we finally accept it. Even if love remains.

Even when the experience is as decisive as death, burying the body does not necessarily offer closure to the loss if the survivor does not let go of the essence of the loved person.

It is not easy. And why should it be easy? The emotional response to a great loss must match the intensity of the love. There is anger – that questioning of the fairness of the situation – that gets displaced at everything and everyone that could have contributed to the loss, and the sadness that may seem to last longer than the grieving of the loss itself.

Loss can not be escaped without the feelings that it entails; if you can….maybe it was not a loss after all, maybe you didn't love as much.

And when it is dealt with, the sadness and depression may still unexpectedly come back with vengeance as an unwelcome visitor but their visit will be shorter and shorter.

When is a loss real?

When we accept it as something that cannot be altered or reversed.

When our tears no longer dampen our wings to fly far far away from the loss.