I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

No Instructions

In one of those now few and far between moments with my son he recalled the times when we would scare him into doing something. We would pretend to drive away and leave him behind…with a chuckle he said that was a horrible feeling.

He laughed about it but I had a hard time with that memory.

Yes, actions like that came after I ( we ) had exhausted all other alternatives. After the explaining didn’t do any good, or the bribing “I’ll buy you this once we get there” or the reasoning, or the “get in the car, we are going” didn’t work. Those were last resources tactics, wrong but still “don’t know what else to do” resources.

It made me reflect on how many mistakes we make with the people we love. Did I know he was going to remember that? I didn’t even think about it. But he does.

If only relationships came with instructions.

But they don’t.

Sometimes, many times, I have wished I had lived my mistakes first and then be able to take charge of the relationship so that I and those I love and have loved can (could have) enjoy(ed) it without the stupidity of my ignorance.

But such is life.

One thing with this boy, he does remember a lot of good and he will give me a chance to do better. I can’t correct the mistakes I made, I can only be better now. And I am and will be.

I still wish relationships came with instructions.