I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Friday, December 19, 2008

Almost as long as a marathon but not as thrilling

3 hours 57 minutes.

That is how long my 1 hour commute from work to home took on the first real storm of the season. I have never felt so afraid to not finish in one piece except for that time when the ground froze and standing I would slide uncontrollably and I had to tell my daughter to abandon the car so we wouldn’t get hit by the next out of control car coming down the hill. This time it was like that, maybe worse.

Granted I have doubted many times, ok every time in a marathon if I am going to make it but regardless I know I am. Today I didn’t. I was, for the first time driving in a storm, truly and honestly afraid I was not going to make it.

When I started my adventure into the snow I thought I could make it to the gym once I got home, that thought didn’t last long. I have a lot of ideas when I start a marathon and they don't last long either.

Two hours into my drive, my windshield froze so bad that I had to, blindly, exit out of the highway to clean it and got stuck there as that road had not been plowed and since I couldn’t look out of my window I didn’t know. A tail of cars followed me and got stuck behind as they tried to unsafely go around me.

I ended up in Middletown, NY, a city I know well but that didn’t help. The roads were so bad that with my foot to the floor my car barely moved. I eventually swerved to an empty parking lot and regained my composure. A Dunkin Donuts near by was a breeze if I was running but a milestone in the storm so I sat in the car and prayed I could somehow make it back to the highway. I was afraid, really afraid.

The phone rang I don’t know how many times. People concerned for my wellbeing. I do appreciate that, nothing they could do but I do appreciate it. They couldn’t help but they knew today was atrocious.

My next 20 miles were the worst. Funny, the ones I am so used to and drive daily were more painful and difficult. I drove with my window open so I could get more visibility as looking through my windshield was the same as looking through broken glass.

I feel I am describing a horror marathon. It has not been that difficult in a marathon. At least I can see where I’m going, might not feel I can get there, but I can see it. It hurts but I know I’ll get there eventually.

Today was worst.

I would have run a marathon instead.