I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Drop The Rope

At times I find myself being pulled into a tug of war by a comment that baits me in. It may be an accusation, a put down or a criticism of something I did or didn’t do. I find it only fair to defend myself, right?


Some relationships border on the unhealthiness of provoked arguments, a form of indirect control exerted over the person who reacts to the attacks. I bite sometimes.

And when I do I find myself in the downward spiral of that person’s anger and negativity fueling with my reaction their already existing frustrations.

Reacting in the form of defending myself has never yield any positive results. Instead, when I allow their hurtfulness to achieve their goal, I find myself taking on some of the clutter of that person’s emotions. Regardless if their intention was not to hurt, my reaction puts both of us in that tug of war that once started it’s difficult to stop until one of us give in.

Not reacting negatively does not imply that I don’t own my mistakes or that I should ignore them. On the contrary, regardless of how my wrongdoing is brought to my attention, I should make amends or at the very least acknowledge where I have done wrong.

Remaining calm when one is being attacked is a difficult test of self-control but as I get older and not wiser, I find that I am simply tired of pulling on the rope. Maybe if I don’t partake in the game, my opponent might also give up on the attacks ……Maybe we both can drop the rope together.