I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, May 31, 2009

No Reason

Talking to my friend I mentioned that my workouts have decreased in length although not in intensity since my knee injury. She asked surprised “why do you need to exercise more? I explained that in the last few years I have enjoyed running for more than two hours and sometimes three on Sunday.

“But”, she insisted “isn’t it a good workout, why do you have to do more?”
Sure I get a good workout, I explained just not enough.
Why? Why does it have to be more? My persistent friend asked.
Why do you have to do more every weekend?

Why …why…why…?

I soon recognized that my explanation was not going to be a satisfying reason for her, at least not a reason she could relate to. So I stopped trying.

My conversation with her made me realize that we are conditioned to seeking an answer to a why before we can accept a whatever. Not only that, but we reject that which we don’t understand deeming it at times wrong because we can’t relate to it. We try to find a motive or a reason to explain differences. We dig and dig trying to know more forgetting to appreciate and respect what is.

Why do some run 100 miles? Why didn’t I run Boston? Why do I drink wine? Why do I write?

There is not a motive to every one of my actions and my reasons sometimes might make sense only to me.

I love, I run, I pray, I laugh, I cry, for reasons and sometimes for no reason. Yet it is who I am and the only reason I can offer is that I need to be true to myself so I can be true to you.

And that I am.