I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Married Too Long



Reading a friend’s post and agreeing with her, I got thinking of the times when from the outside someone has told me the reasons why I am still in a long term relationship. Married too long:

“Only for the kids”

Yes, I am still in this relationship for the kids and for the man who is my husband.

The assumption might come in part due to my readiness to state “it has not been a walk in the park”.

It hasn’t and why should it be?

A relationship where two people choose to form a life together while keeping their individuality takes work. Without its downs, I wouldn’t appreciate the highs.

Why do I state sometimes that it has not been a walk in the park? Because I see no need to state the obvious.

The obvious is that the man who drives me crazy with his pet peeves, with his no common sense questions and his loud laughter is the man who smiled when our children where put in his arms for the first time, the same who cried when they boarded the bus on their first day of school. He is the man who spent his vacation days at a hospital chemo ward watching me without ever complaining. The one who has dealt with my moods with kindness during my fear.

And in spite of all my thorns, he is the man who has never had to come back because he has never left.

The obvious is the invaluable gift of easiness a long term relationship gives, the comfort, the reliability and the love.

After all these years, I smile when I come home. Is it always great? No, it’s not.

But it is worth it.

Am I married too long?

Yes. Just not long enough.