I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Mean It


It was my second visit in less than a month. I normally don’t visit them this often. The drive, the tolls, blah blah blah but I’m glad I did.

I was struck by the quick deterioration of my aunt from the last time I saw her. It is expected yet disturbing.

While I sat there there were other visitors and a call. The call came from someone who is close, very close emotionally and physically, but is still waiting to make some time to visit. How much she is going to miss her, how she misses her right now. How much she has meant to her, how much she loves her, like no one else. The call was a recap of what she says every time she calls. She will make the time to come visit, not just yet though.

There was another one who rang the bell and dropped off something, no time to stay because the game was on in a few minutes and couldn’t miss that. They took the package and thanked him.

Her time is running out.

Many of the “right things” to do are not fun. They don’t have to be done and it is okay if a person does not feel like doing them. They don’t have to. But they shouldn’t claim they want to.

Don’t get me wrong; if it’s not feasible that is one thing. But if the inaction is chosen while preaching something different, the line of hypocrisy is being walked on.

This sort of reminds me of the rhetorical “let me know what I can do for you” (if I am not busy doing laundry, washing my hair, paying bills, or simply ignoring you, etc etc etc). It sure sounds good to say it and it sure is really good to hear but it sure would feel better if it had some reliability behind.

Caring is more than saying it, it involves showing it. It is not a product we pull out of our pocket to show our peers. It actually involves doing, the alternative is insincerity.

A feeling without an action is nothing. Beating our chest with our fist does not break through the thick layers of avoidance and neglect. It doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything, doesn’t prove anything. Oh, but it looks good!

It takes more than that. Mean it or don’t say it.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways but don’t ask me to show it.