I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

And Yet There Are Those Days...

Sadness is the emotion people feel when they've lost something important, or when they have been disappointed about something, or when something sad has happened to them or to someone else. When they're lonely, people often feel sad.

I am not sure which one of those applies. Feeling blue is an emotion I fight often with busyness. Avoidance works and I use it. Sometimes I can’t and I let it happen. Sometimes I even help it by engaging in memories fed by old emails, songs, pictures. It is not good.

At times the sadness feels like it’s going to explode and finally come to an end. It doesn’t explode and it doesn’t end. Sometimes it is there. Subdued. Quiet, like my evening.

There are days when a quiet evening is better. We can run but we can’t hide. Those days are better spent alone. There is no point in seeking company to distract us because in those days we are not good company to anyone and no one can distract us from the feeling.

There is no true reason for those blue feelings. It could be one of the above, or all of them. Maybe it is the Holiday season, or a moment that brings one face to face with loneliness. That feeling when we are surrounded by many yet feel alone, empty. And there is no way to explain it, no way to correct it, there is only a way to feel it. Loneliness, emptiness.

And then they are gone as quietly as they came. Sometimes they are gone after a catharsis that follows a good cry. A cry where the tears flow freely and the heart seems to be breaking one more time. A catharsis that lasts until the next time.

And then life goes on. Until the next time.