I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Slowly Melting

The ice seemed to sit there on top of the water. I watched it for a minute and it all seem staggered. Nothing moving. Yet, I know the current underneath continues to move on and the ice on top is slowly melting. At some point it will go back to normal. It will also resume its usual course.

I ran further along side the Hudson River and noticed the ice stopped at some point. The currents running underneath finally free from the weight above moved without restraint. I kept running.

The air was dry, the breeze calm and the temperatures delightful for a January afternoon. I ran, I kept running.

My mind was clear of thoughts just like the sky was clear of clouds. I chose no music today because I had no need to be distracted. No GPS because pace did not matter. No destination because I knew where I started and where I was coming back to.

It was a beautiful day like so many days begging to be enjoyed. I was glad to enjoy this one. How many have I let go, how many I have wasted. Days that will never come back. Once wasted, they are gone.

I passed by a bench. I sat there once having lunch. I sat there in many other beautiful days staring at the water. The heaviness of my heart rendering me unable to move. At times overwhelmed by emotions I would cry not even knowing anymore why I was crying.

It occurred to me that the heart is the same as the river. The warmth slowly warms the crust of the ice and melts it away and at some point it runs free, free of the heaviness of the dark clouds that once engulfed it. It slowly returns to its calm.

I ran today enjoying the calm that I felt. Knowing that it might not be with me tomorrow. That a dark cloud might overcast my horizon. But then, it might be like the waters of the Hudson, the ice might be behind me and the water might be able to run free again, like I am

doing today.