It’s funny that I consider remarkable days when I am happy; so much so that they stand out from others and I notice them.
Today was one of them. I felt I could kiss the people in Dunkin Donuts. I patiently waited at traffic lights singing to the radio. During my run in the early morning I noticed my surroundings, the looks of strangers driving by, some smiling, some giving me thumbs up, yet others annoyed when they had to move a little to the right as they passed me.
Nothing spectacular about my run but normally I concentrate on how tired I feel, how much I have to walk or how I should feel better or faster or stronger. Today I remembered that this body never did anything when it was younger. I played no games, no sports. A fear of not doing it right kept me from trying. I don’t know where that fear came from – fear of criticism, of disapproval. That has never totally vanished and it continues detouring me from many things I could still do, that is why I don’t like racing. Racing compares me, it makes me feel I am not good enough.
Running has given me something different. I don’t have to be better than others, I just run and that is why I like marathons. Marathons provide me with a goal I can accomplish and that goal is to cross the finish line, it doesn’t matter who is in front, next or behind me. It’s a marathon and completing it is good enough.
I’m not quite sure what made today a happy day. If I knew, I would make all my days like this one.
I guess I simply took the time to appreciate life and what it offers me. What it is to be alive.
2 years ago