I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Happy


It’s funny that I consider remarkable days when I am happy; so much so that they stand out from others and I notice them.

Today was one of them. I felt I could kiss the people in Dunkin Donuts. I patiently waited at traffic lights singing to the radio. During my run in the early morning I noticed my surroundings, the looks of strangers driving by, some smiling, some giving me thumbs up, yet others annoyed when they had to move a little to the right as they passed me.

Nothing spectacular about my run but normally I concentrate on how tired I feel, how much I have to walk or how I should feel better or faster or stronger. Today I remembered that this body never did anything when it was younger. I played no games, no sports. A fear of not doing it right kept me from trying. I don’t know where that fear came from – fear of criticism, of disapproval. That has never totally vanished and it continues detouring me from many things I could still do, that is why I don’t like racing. Racing compares me, it makes me feel I am not good enough.

Running has given me something different. I don’t have to be better than others, I just run and that is why I like marathons. Marathons provide me with a goal I can accomplish and that goal is to cross the finish line, it doesn’t matter who is in front, next or behind me. It’s a marathon and completing it is good enough.

I’m not quite sure what made today a happy day. If I knew, I would make all my days like this one.

I guess I simply took the time to appreciate life and what it offers me. What it is to be alive.