I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, May 03, 2010

Let Me "Self Help" You For a Fee

I have had it with “Self Help” books. I never cared for them but now after having spent several hours reading them I really despise them.

Having a traumatic experience in life does not qualify anyone to lecture others on how to act. Life is not as simple as “how to improve your home” kit. Facing mortality does not make us experts on the secrets of living a happy life. If lucky, we might attempt at being less of a bitch but there is no profound and great insightful advice we can offer others.

Take for instance Yvania Vanzant or Oriah Mountain Dreamer. They wrote a beautiful poem each but let’s not get carried away. A beautiful poem that became popular - there are many beautiful poems I read daily on blogs that are not as popular - doesn’t entitle these women to write a “let me tell you what to do” book.

And that is just two poor examples.

For the most part, “Self Help” books tell the reader “move on, forgive, forget, stay away from people who hurt you. Stay away from toxic people. Surround yourself with beautiful good energy people, blah blah blah”. Yeah, we all know that and if it wasn’t that simple there would be no “self help” books trying to tell you how simple it is if you just read my book.

Life is not simple. Advice is only good when you buy it and want to believe in it. Advice is deemed remarkable when it validates you. But it can not make you whole.

My face to face with fear has not given me any attributes to tell people what to do. It didn’t make it any easier to see friends leave because the fun person was no longer fun while sick or understand family getting tired from dealing with a person who had become more of a bitch than she normally was because being sick seems to entitle us to be whatever we want to be and expect others to accept it. That face to face encounter helped me understand and relate to others going through that fear. It has helped me see myself in a different light, understand my weakness and my flaws (no, it didn’t give me that much insight to see all my flaws just some of them) but it has not given me any talent to tell others what to do to better their life. If I knew the secret, I would implement it myself.

Some of these authors should stop once they tell their story. No need to milk that cow more. Maybe it’s just me and my bad mind-set. hmmmmmmm I should really read something to improve my attitude.