I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Mother's Day
Like most kids, I’d save whatever I could to buy my mother something or made something for her. I was not very creative – a talent I never acquired. As I got older, I was of the opinion that the appreciation and love shown on Mother’s Day should not be a“one day” deal. One card or gift will hardly compensate for what has not been done in the previous 364 (365 if leap?) days. Like I have said before, I admire some of my friends who spend quality time with their mothers regularly.

I digress.
One Mother’s Day, however, was different to all the others.
That Thursday I had being diagnosed out of the blue with a serious illness. My family had traveled that weekend to be with me and my mother had flown back cutting short her vacation overseas. They were there to give me support and strength through a weekend of continuous praying. Coincidentally, it was Mother’s Day.
I woke up that morning from a restless night. My chest felt a kind of anguish I can’t describe. Quietly I went for a walk It was a crispy sunny morning. As I got to the top of the hill, I heard my 8 year old daughter calling.
“Mama, mama!”
In her PJ and flip-flops she handed me a hand made card. The pages inside showed, phonetically spelled, in her handwriting “I want to live every day of my life with you”.
“Are you crying under your sunglasses?”
“No, babe. It’s the sun”.
Two years later in the room of a hotel on a mandatory business trip that I would call a friend and share my fear of wasting a Mother’s Day away from my kids. For the first time I realized the fear of not knowing how many celebrations I had left to receive their cards. I feared my absence being felt that day by them more than other days.

Life seems to revolve around our children and so does death.
I have with time overcome that fear understanding that my kids should and will outlive me. One day, there will be a Mother’s Day without me. It's the cycle of life.

In the mean time, I make every day count with them and on Mother’s Day I peek in their room for a sign of a card…I don’t want to miss my day.

Happy Mother’s Day.