I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Light

It had been years since I heard anything about a former love. We both had moved on. I had started a new life, happy and fulfilling, when my friend told me that he was down on his luck, a series of bad incidents had plagued him, including the death of his mother, loss of a job, fallout with his family, and much much more.

I sat there listening to her and feeling compassion for the pain he was enduring. It didn't matter to me why everyone had turned their back on him. I had loved this man, I knew him in a different way than the way everyone else knew him, and that is what mattered to me. I knew the man I had loved.

I grabbed paper and pen and wrote him two paragraphs of encouragement. All I remember is how it ended "remember there is someone who loved you immensely and who will always believe in you."

In the Gospel of today, I heard a line that said "Be the Light to others".

There are times when we need a hand, a kind word or a shoulder to lean on. When all it takes is for someone to believe in us so we can too. My note had nothing to do with any desire to recover the life that we shared. It simply had to do with reaching out to someone I had loved and for whom I would always care and a desire to add a speck of light to his darkness.

It did not change anything between us and there was no intention of changing it. In fact, I did not want any changes. But I felt I had to live up to what I believed; I had to live up to the promise I made that night when I saw him for the last time… "I will always care for you, nothing will ever change that”.

Nothing did.

It would be many years later that I would find out the note had the desired effect and it had been appreciated.

I couldn't do more, but I didn't want to do less.