I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, August 16, 2010


What I remember is the cat jumping on my inflated belly.


And then more hours. “Now?” “No, your contractions are not hard enough”


“No, they are not long enough”


I can hardly walk!

“You won’t be walking”.

And then he was born. You’d think he was 14 lbs. Not a chance. 6.1, the additional 18 were aaaall mine.

And so I realized that I knew less than I thought, if that was possible. On my way out, “here is your baby, take him home” I had to turn around and walk into the nursery and ask the woman with the long nails to teach me how to change a diaper. I became an expert. There were more diapers than I could count! When I see how much the County’s landfill has grown, I know one fourth of that is mine, I mean his.

Through awe, excitement, anticipation, fear, anger, laughs, tears and much much joy we have made it through 20 years.

In the last 8 he and I have followed an annual routine to celebrate his birthday. Much similar to his labor, our day is long, full of excitement, anticipation and at the end I am as I was 20 years ago, exhausted but happy.

It is the only day a year when he wakes up on his own, gets ready and asks “so….when are we going Mama?” I have learned to read his language “do you want to eat sushi and walk around or walk around and a show? “Either is fine” which means "I want both".

And so both we did. On the day before his birthday, we walked, ate “all you can eat sushi” (soon they’ll have my picture and his on the door with a line across) and we topped it off with a musical, Chicago, because it was right there and he had never seen it.

It is our annual celebration of a long day, full of excitement, anticipation and joy. 364 days to go and we already know what we’ll do.