Doing It For You
You have done so much for me. I heard her say.
I had not, I felt.
I had not done more than what I had received. In every single action, there had been something in it for me. The satisfaction of seeing someone happy, the contentment of being able to help.
Do we ever do “too much” for others? Here is my point, we all are governed by the pleasure principle – the desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain. What we do is because to some extent, it gratifies us too. We don’t do something for someone that is causing us pain; we do it because it makes us feel good.
I don’t understand when people say “I did so much for XYZ”. You did it because you wanted to and it made you feel good while you did it or you would not have done it. Simple.
The wine and roses in pursuit of a conquest, a gift in exchange for a smile, sitting at the bedside waiting for a fever to break to feel the happiness of a healthy child; picking up their drycleaners because we love them. Being around someone because it makes us feel good to be with them. Because we want to.
Back at the statement, I knew I had not done more than what I had received. If I choose to answer the phone, if I choose to be there when a person wants to talk, if I am available to hang out, or available in their dark moments, they are giving me just as much by choosing me.
We are even.