I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Greener Pastures

I think of the decisions that we make whether hastily or carefully. Some are made following a grass greener than ours. A seemingly better offer. Or a validation for whom we want to be.

Easy to move in that direction when our roots are not deep into the ground and/or when the weeds in our own yard seem too much work to even bother anymore. Better to move to a cleaner, newer place that on the surface offers everything the familiar one does not.

There is tradition and a kind of ease that is formed when we stay in one place for a long time. It is a rewarding experience that becomes part of our lives without the great excitement and exhalation of the first days but nevertheless a very satisfying place to be. We don’t have to watch where we are going; we know every inch of the way, every rock on our path. We can run barefoot, we can fall and we can get back up and we can laugh at our own clumsiness without ever questioning whether it is okay or not simply because when there is familiarity, everything is okay. But new places present newer opportunities that are fun to discover and heck, if we are being invited to a newer grass our ego gets enough satisfaction to pull us on this chase. No matter how synthetic the grass feels under our feet, it is exciting. Who needs genuine when we can have excitement?

We might never reach that same level of comfort we had in the old place, and it might not matter. The newer feel is rewarding no matter what it is made of, even if the fundamental areas of the integrity that captured us in the other place are not apparent. It feels good.
Sometimes the grass left behind sustains itself with inner strength, sun, water and hope; sometimes it dries out and at times, it finds renewal relieving itself of the unhealthy weeds that were the product of the poor care it received for so long.

We live with the consequences of our decisions. We are either really happy and fulfilled or we can convince ourselves that we are so we never have to look back and feel the weight of our actions.

We might find this new place the right place for us and the newness might be enough to carry us through for a long time until a newer grass appears.
And we’ll hope that we made the right decision because it would suck to get to the end of our lives to realize we made a mistake we never had the guts to admit.

And at the same time, the familiar grass continues to grow freer and renewed.

All are happy.