I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Out Of It

“Paranoia is a thought process thought to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.”

Irrationality…irrational fear. I think of irrational when a feeling is unfounded and also when it’s out of control. I can relate to out of control. I have a more difficult time relating to unfounded. All my fears have been founded in history.

Take for instance the fear of my health. I have heard the news no one wants to hear. I have fear every time a test approaches and that fear becomes irrational, totally out of control. Sitting in the car hitting the steering wheel. It is irrational, and it is founded.

Background, history, and past events are the heavy influence that forms the perception of our everyday’s life. There is no tabula rasa to start from scratch at this age; our lives are full of content that is formed from our experience.

It is simple, as giving advice always is, to say “Don’t be paranoid”. But avoiding the fear that something bad is in the works because experience has proven that it is possible, is a much more difficult thing to accomplish than simply calling it paranoia.

"It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you."