I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Who Dares Face The Bully?

There are times when I should listen to our instincts. This has been one of those days. On a business trip, I chose not to be the designated driver. It has nothing to do with drinking and driving rather that I chose not to be the one driving the other three to the restaurant of their choice. I chose to be a passenger.
Having a different agenda, such as my runs and my passion for sushi which noone else shares, it worked out fine for me. After work I chose to stay in my room, I ate my meal and enjoyed my wine . It was great.

One person in the group had a flight 2 hours earlier than us. When our meeting was over, she insisted on being taken to the airport immediately. “It’s only 20 miles away” “Yes, but I don’t want to be late, I have to board early, I need to, I want to, me me me me”. We wanted to stop for food, but our coworker told us "not today".

So she got her way and we all ended up at the airport hungry and stressed 4 hours earlier than our flight.

No one complained to her. But all complained to one another.

It makes me wonder why in a group, one dissenting voice changes the whole group’s direction. During a dinner meeting, 4 agreed on one appetizer, one person challenged the choice and said she would only eat “XY”. When the dish came, she ate a small portion and the rest of the group did not touch it. Why then, did we all agree to her choice?

Is it because we try to please everyone in spite of our own comfort, or because there are bigger things to worry about than an appetizer or to get to the airport 4 hours earlier? Or because we are afraid to stand up to a bully?

I’d have to go with the bully theory. Usually, a bully doesn’t have a problem causing a scene and that, I avoid. Yelling, getting people looking in that direction is not something I enjoy. On the other hand I wonder if the bully acts that way because no one ever stands up to them.

I read this yesterday “standing on a ladder doesn’t make you taller” but it sure makes you get your way each time, even if you have to stand on a few people to feel taller.