I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Friday, April 29, 2011


“As I lose you, you and I both lose.
I, because I was who loved you the most,
You, because you were who I loved you the most.
But as I lose you, you lose more than I do,
Because I will be able to love again like I loved you,
But no one will love you like you I loved you." - Ernesto Cardenal

I recited that poem many times in the early stages of a break up. Over the years, the anger subsided and I rejoiced in the memory that I had loved that way and could love again.

We both moved on, formed other relationships and left our memories behind.

Over a decade later we had the chance to reminisce and laugh at the old and shared part of the past we had not been part of.  A tap in the window as I drove off gave me a different outlook on that poem “I never loved again”.

Never loved again the way that I was loved, but I’m sure love appeared again as it did for me.  Never the same, nor it should be. As much as the void cries to be filled, it can never satisfy the same thirst.

A strong relationship -whichever its nature - forms a benchmark for all others that follow.  Anything after is measured based on what “that” one was without realizing that a major happening can never be recreated. Every relationship is unique in its nature.  They are not better nor worse or indifferent. They are different.

In losing a relationship all parties lose; a past relationship can never be brought back nor it can be recreated. When a friend is lost a lot more than a friend is lost. The times spent together and the places that became synonymous of the friendship will never be again.  Others will come and go, and many will stay, but not one will replace what the lost friend was because what it was can never be.  A relationship is unique, it can not be replaced.

As I lose you, you and I lose…damn right. It will never be the same again. 


this should have been Big losers, but I needed the L