I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Urgency
There is a sense of urgency in my life. Not that I live every day as it were my last day, far from that.  I have mastered the art of not thinking about an end to my days.  I live each day grateful for it and literally making plans for tomorrow.  That is the extent of my future planning.
Long range plans beyond tomorrow are different.
In my life, major decisions over a period of time require a certainty of wellbeing that I don’t possess and of which I was robbed a decade ago. What is taken for granted by all “In two years I will…” is a sea of uncertainty handled with hope and prayer.
When a decision is made in my life, I know its execution will greatly, if not entirety, depend on my health.  The time in between my tests installs in me that urgency; a desire to get it done before something might change my resolve.
So, my pace in executing a plan is faster than that of others who do not have that urgency in their lives.  When a decision is made that greatly alters my life, I want enough time to implement it and hopefully enjoy its outcome.
There is only so much time in between tests in which confidence is my companion and it is during that time that I hope to execute my decision.
Life is totally uncertain for everybody – no one can ever predict their future and their tomorrow can change in an instant, but some of us have a greater sense of awareness for that uncertainty built in us. And that awareness is the urgency in my life.