I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

My Compadre, The Good Doer

This funny picture reminded me of my early months with a large company for which I had been hired. My small department was composed of girls my age of different nationalities. One of them was from the same country and city as I and we immediately befriended each other.  I was good at what I did and often helped my friend with her chores and while I did she would offer the comments she had heard about me from the other girls. The coworkers talked and joked  constantly and I seldom took part in their conversation well aware of what my friend had told me. I felt isolated. Each  morning she would lean over my desk and tell me what she had heard last. They did not like me, it was clear.

Young and inexperienced I would watch them make plans for lunch and leave the department while my friend and I stayed. I wanted so much to quit and tell them before I left how I felt about them snobs. I wanted to tell them that I knew what they said about me and I knew it because my good friend shared their comments with me every day.

My friend left for maternity leave and when she returned eight weeks later I was one of the girls making lunch plans, joking, and laughing.  I was one of them.

My Compadre was silently surprised, and so was I.

I realized that the group in my department had not changed; my attitude did. The person who fed me negative information was gone. I no longer was told that no one liked me, that they made deleterious comments about me. During her eight week absence I had a chance to see them, get to know them and give them a chance to get to know me. The result was we all liked each other.

Some of those girls remain my friends 20 years later.

The morale of the story is that we cannot judge by what others say about us. We cannot believe what others tell us. Some people have an agenda, she certainly did.

I am grateful that I got to know the girls in that department and most grateful for the great times and lifetime friendships I built.