I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Shut Door

No door in my life has ever been totally shut.

I don’t know if I ever shut a door with the intention of never opening it again. Maybe at the time I felt it was permanent with raw emotions dictating my actions. In those moments when I slammed it shut, I am sure I meant to keep it that way.

There has never been a door in my life that has never opened when knocked on. Sometimes it has opened at a light touch and sometimes it has taken a little more trying, but it has always open.

It all depended (s) on the desire to get it opened. No promises of what lays behind it.

What is behind that door might be a new experience no matter how familiar it was before. A change brought by time since it closed.

Time does not stand still while we walk away. When we walk away from a feeling, a relationship, or a place, we relinquish any right to expect- let alone- demand anything from that which we abandoned. So opening a door might bring surprises. There were tears cried behind that closed door, there were routines that changed. Hardly anything stays the same.

That is not a bad thing.

Change is a good thing.

The core of who I am remains behind that closed door. Behind that closed door, I remain the person I was before. Hopefully enhanced and better…if not, at the very least different than who I was before. That might be a good thing. It really depends on what you expect when you open that door.

I make no promises other than if you knock, I’ll open.