I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Mine All Mine

My coworker looks at me as I remove my headband and head to my office “you shouldn’t be running in this weather”

“It’s easier than running in the summer, really”  I say trying to convince her knowing I never will.

“You are limping”

“Just a little, only after 4 miles”

“Did you stop then?’

“No, I had to get back to the office. I have a meeting in a few” 

I can go on like this, I know, without getting anywhere so I smile and walk back to the office.  

I cannot explain it to someone who doesn’t share my passion for running. It’s an impossible quest I no longer let myself get caught in. I’ll never understand their devotion to TV or reality shows and I don’t  question theirs hoping they’ll give me the same courtesy.  

It does not happen. They still question mine.  

It doesn’t matter if I explain to them that I know now how to listen to my body. I know the difference when an ache requires rest and when it’s safe to test it again or when tiredness means my body needs a break and when it’s laziness that will be corrected with a few miles.  

I cannot explain to them what it feels like to be out-there. To feel my heart racing, my body warming up in spite of the frigid temperatures, my legs covering a distance years ago I thought impossible. I cannot put into words what I feel and they will never understand it because they don’t do it. This feeling belongs only to those who share the passion, no need to explain it to anyone else, no need for their understanding. It's mine, all mine. Only I need to get it.