I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Scattered and Efficient.

There are so many posts starting in my head that if I wrote them down and completed them, I would have a new book in the works already. But as brilliant as some of those ideas are once I sit down to write I am interrupted by something in my “must do” list. It is my ADD acting that makes me move quickly and randomly as I get closer to the day of the race I direct, The Celebrate Life Half Marathon. So many things to do and I tend to think of all of them at the same time, making it difficult to focus on one. Sometimes I surprise myself that I can accomplish what I set out to do when I lack the organization others excel at. Perhaps I am organized in a very scattered way.  

I know I can be totally focused when a person is talking to me and nothing can interrupt the attention I give to who needs to be heard, yet I cannot clean my bathroom without stopping in the middle to start laundry, or clean the kitchen and move to the bedroom to change the sheets. It all gets done! Starting multiple projects helps me when I cook for a lot of company. I can get 5 different dishes started and completed at the same time.  

I don’t know where my self-diagnosed ADD comes from. Psychological ADD is the result of the subject not wanting to deal with what is front of them, so the child learns quickly to move from one area to another to avoid seeing what is in front of them. Somewhere along the way, I learn to be scattered. I also learned to complete what I start. Scattered but efficient, what a paradox.  

I wish I could be more focused one item at a time. It would decrease my stress level of worrying I am going to leave something out or not get to it. It is probably too late to be any different, so I have to find ways to offset my scatteredness. I live on lists, spreadsheets, sticky notes, and notebooks for months. Occasionally I save the starting line to a post in one of my check and balance note keepers, but unlike my housework and meals, I don’t always complete them. If I did, maybe you would be reading my second book.  

Today might be different. Oh come on, who am I kidding?