I don’t know that there is a way to save a relationship that has gone spiral. I don’t know that there is a way to salvage a good memory once it has been assaulted by deep levels of hurt. Everything loses its original form if stretched too much; everything breaks if pushed too far and love is not resilient when tested too often.
When no mistreatment equates reward, when no pain is a novelty, love cannot last forever for even the strongest infrastructure will yield when blasted mercilessly unable to withstand the force that tries to bring it down and in spite of how beautiful it once stood, once demolished it will one day become but a blurry recollection.
Hurtful actions take a chunk out of a relationship. Each emotional punch leaves behind a dent that meticulously alters the relationship taking pieces out of it until the only thing left is a bad memory. As much as some would like to hold on to a good memory, an unrelenting source of hurt will eventually wipe off any good left to remember.
I like what I heard about forgiveness a few years ago in one of those rare moments when I watch TV. “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different”. I believe that we can create the energy and the space to heal the deepest of wounds, but I don’t think that a relationship that has been hit with the deepest layers of hurt can be saved. Forgiveness as in accepting the past couldn’t be different is necessary to heal the wounds caused by a relationship plagued with abuse, lies, betrayal and more and just as importantly walking forward and away from it, it’s what is left to do.