I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, July 21, 2014

I Can't Feel Your Pain

I feel your pain, I wrote.  

Do I? can I?  

Can I feel a pain that transcends the depths of the worst nightmare?  I can’t.  No one can come close to the insurmountable hurt that cuts you deeply leaving you breathless gasping for air and wishing you didn't have to take another breath so this can stop now. Right now.  Because no one deserves this agony.  

I can’t feel your pain.  This pain is yours as he was. I can’t give you a reason that would make any sense because this pain you suffer does not make sense.  This pain you endure is more than anyone is built to endure. I can tell you Heaven needed another angel and you would rightfully say, why this angel? 

I can’t feel your pain, but I can feel your anger. Anger because death interrupted a cycle that was not even half completed. Anger because bad things should not happen to good people and you are a good person. Anger because a parent should never outlive their child. I feel your anger; I cannot feel your pain.  

I can’t feel your pain because a pain like yours comes uninvited, it cannot be imagined, it should not be felt. I can sit quietly by your side without being able to speak any words that can possibly bring any relief to the emptiness that is now this world in front of you. My words, no words can alleviate your loss. But I know because I know you that in time you will overcome this enormous tragedy and you will take with you his spirit and in his absence you will bring his presence to life bringing to others compassion, aid and support in his name and in his memory many will rejoice.  He will always be with you.  

I cannot feel your pain. No one can. But I will remain by your side in silence because no words are needed when the heart speaks.