I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, May 05, 2014

Expectations



The secret to being happy in relationships and life in general is to not have expectations. Easier said than done.  A human trait, we tend to expect something in return that will make us feel appreciated. While it's inevitable to want more, to expect enough to meet that… expectation, we do not have to be defined by it.
Not receiving what we want from a friend after we do a favor for them can be disappointing and it hurts to feel used, but we can turn that around and feel good about what we did and gave. How it was received or used is not in our control.
Many of the things we do do not receive what we would have wanted, but the experience is satisfying enough.  When I published my book I thought it would be embraced by my friends -all of them including my “Facebook” friends, all 300 plus of them. The truth is that very few of my friends bought it, some own it because I gave a free copy to them. However, I bump into people all the time who tell me they read my book and I know of acquaintances who bought 10 even 15 copies to give to others.  For whatever reason some didn’t and that needs to be okay. Why worry about those who didn’t when I can rejoice in the ones who did?
Likewise, I may send an email to 50 people who know me asking for a $10 donation for a cause that is very close to my heart and have that produce zero results, but in a heartbeat I have reached and exceeded all my goals with donations mostly from strangers.
You might not be recognized for your performance at work, but personally you know you exceeded goals and that is a satisfaction no one can take away from you.
The focus should be the goal not how we get to it. Moping about how difficult it was to get somewhere we might miss the opportunity to rejoice in reaching that place. Sometimes it is the destination not the journey that matters.
Enjoy getting to where you intended to go. Enjoy doing what you want to do. Feel proud of giving and doing for a friend or a stranger something that might not be appreciated.  Have an expectation, but do not expect it to be satisfied. Find satisfaction in what you do and why you do it. No one can take that away.  Enjoy reaching the destination and learn from the journey.