I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Places and Eras

Places have marked the different eras in my life.

I remember California as a time of struggle and difficult jobs. Finding my way alone in a culture new to me, learning a new language. Young and afraid, abandoned.  A place of long hours of strenuous work in factories, sweat and tears. Loneliness.

Ecuador was a place of unhappiness and neglect. Two years in an unfriendly and different environment where my happy moments could be counted in one hand.

In between those two places that left so much misery was New Jersey. A happy time in my life. Young and carefree I chased happiness with a good job and few financial responsibilities pursuing a career. Taking care of my health meant brushing my teeth every day and taking Nyquil for a cold. Weekend major decision was selecting the trending discotheque with my friends.

Dating was a game I enjoyed and played well. I came out a winner each time until I didn’t and the tables turned. I got caught in the game and fell in love mercilessly. Excitement, happiness, tears, despair. It all mixed together during that time. Even after the most heart wrenching breakup that era remains one of the happiest times of my life.

New York became home where I raised a family with hard work and evenings playing cars and house with the two joys life awarded me as a mother.  They made my life worthwhile and complete even in the times when it felt incomplete in other areas. I learned to appreciate the tranquility of the country different from the busy streets I grew up in, and I learned to visually enjoy my surroundings with every change in season.  
Some harsh battles were fought in New York. Wrinkles and the first grey hairs showed the onset of years.

Kids have moved away and now a new era starts in the same place I made my home years ago.  Peace now fills my days.

I no longer pursue the dreams I did when I was younger. My life no longer has the urgency it had in earlier years.  I now enjoy the moment and I am grateful for what is, I don't long for what could have been. I am home.

I am at peace.