I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, November 02, 2015

The Bucket Stops Here

The bucket stops here. 
We are responsible for how we react to what comes our way. 

I believe there are strokes of negative energy that at times sweep by our lives.  Suddenly, it seems to come from directions never expected. We are taken by surprise, left disappointed and dumbfounded, wondering what to do.

The first instinct is to call the offender out, confront them, let others know, embarrass them. Have them face their actions.

When someone wrongs me, I take care of it in my own way.
I let it be and walk away.

I don’t look for validation in mutual friends by telling “my story” I don’t look for ways to get even.

I do nothing.

Actually I do a lot. I disengage and choose to remove myself from them and remove them from me. I follow a very simple philosophy: I am responsible for my actions and only mine. I am who I need to be at peace with and to accomplish that simple task I look to do what in my heart is right.

This weekend I went to spectate the New York City Marathon. An annual trek to the City I enjoy annually. My itinerary consists of running 4 or 5 miles to mile 20, spectating from the bridge, then moving on to hang out with my friends from the Bronx running club at their cheering station then jumping in to run with a friend to mile 25 and catching a ride with them back home.  I quickly changed my plans when I saw an injured friend at mile 20. I stayed with her and hailed a cab to meet her family. I forfeited watching friends, finding my running club, and running with a friend plus catching a ride with her. Instead I ended up running to a station and taking the train back home. But I would not have done it any other way and I could not have abandoned this injured person. There are many chances to do wrong, I seize the few to do right.

I am responsible for my actions and I must be able to feel good with what I’ve done. The awareness of having done wrong is, in my opinion, the worst punishment.

Likewise, I choose not to react nor engage in negative energy when it’s aimed in my direction.  Any moment spent reacting to what others do takes happiness and peace away from me and reinforces the transgression.

In the forces of action and reaction we are responsible for either or and even when an action creates an opposite reaction of equal force, we do not have to make that reaction a negative one.  Our actions are not justified by what somebody else does. We choose to react the way we do and as such we must own our mistakes.

It is my choice to remove negativity from my life and refuse to participate in it. I choose to remain true to myself and live at peace with my decisions.  The bucket stops with me.