I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Letting Go With Dignity.


I’ve always been flabbergasted by the bashing people engage in after the demise of a relationship.  The use of social media, the triangulation with mutual friends, and the irrational desire to smear the name of a former someone seems to be a fun game.
I appears to me that even if a relationship does not warrant respect, we should at least respect ourselves.
I fail to see what a person seeks by publically bashing someone whether a former lover or friend with whom they were involved . Their unrelenting hunger to get back at them by hurting their reputation seems a cruel way to act out their guilt and insecurities.
Regardless of how far a person goes to discredit their ex the reality is that the truth cannot be changed no matter how many social media outlets are used.
It doesn’t matter who was at fault, does it?
When it comes to dignity and respecting yourself, it should not matter.
When one of the most significant relationships of my life ended in my twenties, I held on to the good. When in my middle age years a long term relationship came to its finale, I kept to myself the reasons for its demise.  Only two people knew the truth, and only two people should – us.  No need to tell others. Likewise, when a friendship went sour and others ended for different reasons I did not use mutual friends to sway them in my favor nor social outlets to criticize them and even when confiding in a best friend, I only divulged what was strictly necessary if anything at all.
When a relationship ends only two people need to know what happened behind closed doors and if it ended badly, then there should be no reason to want to spend any more time on it. It’s over, move on.
It’s not a matter of maturity, it’s a matter of dignity.