I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

A Piece Of A Puzzle

You would think there is no interest in locating a man who walked away when I was five years old and whom I grew to fear in the next four. You would be right. He was the reason why my mother emigrated from our Country to put distance between us. To protect us.

There has been the occasional spark of curiosity, now that I live in a country of immigrants where everybody knows about their ancestors, to know where the light brown hair I inherited and the green eyes I didn’t come from. But other than that, I never made much of an effort to find my father.
What would I say to a man who didn’t make many memories with me, and some of the few I have are of a child hiding under a bed afraid of being taken away from my mother?  There were no answers he could have ever provided and I never had any questions I cared to ask.
I did make a phone call in my early 20s and located my uncle. A very pleasant man, he told me my father lived in another city and didn’t visit much. “Like a comet, we only see him every so many years” He told me there were other children he had fathered and that, as important of information, didn’t resonate with me. I hang up and never made another effort.
I grew up with a brother whom I love dearly. We played, we made memories. We are siblings of blood and upbringing.  I had no desire to find any others that were not part of my life. Like my father, what would say to a complete stranger?
Until today.
I found one of my brothers. I couldn’t be happier.
It’s like realizing I’ve been living in the corner of my existence and I’ve found pieces to the rest of the puzzle.
And I did have a lot of questions to ask this complete stranger who after a few messages felt comfortable like an old friend.
This is not about locating a man who walked away from me. It’s not about the past. It’s about the present and getting to know a person who will help me complete the puzzle.