I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Monday, August 28, 2017

Drifting Away. Is That What Friendship Is?

I saw her pass by my vehicle as I was parked waiting for a friend to go for our run. She waved effusively with a broad smile. It took me a minute to recognize her under her shades and hat, but a quick search in my memory bank reminded me of her. My friend! We had been such good friends a few years ago! “Had been” was the key word. We no longer were. Well, we had not stopped being friends, we had just stopped communicating.

I thought about stepping out of my car and following her to catch up on our lives, but what would I ask other than the simple pleasantries I’ve been known to avoid: “How are the kids? What are you training for? Where are you working?”
It was not worth the effort. Better yet it would not change anything other than give me a more recent picture of my friend.
I thought about the many friends that have passed by my life in the same manner. There have been no bitter break ups or fights, no bad memories of our times together to account for a separation, all the contrary I hold good memories of those days. Yet, somehow, we drifted apart.  Perhaps we served a purpose to each other while we were together. They needed someone to listen to them, to always reply to their messages, to always answer a call, and more than anything someone they could trust with their most intimate feelings and I…well, I needed to be needed.   On occasion, one of those many friends has been someone I trusted with my own intimate secrets but that was rare, yet special.
I often wonder if in becoming friends with someone when we are in need, and drifting away when we are not, we are not using a person for our own selfish purposes.
Or is that what most friendships are?
My perennial friends defeat that theory. They have been in my life for no other reason than to be and remain my friends simply because they want to. We have been friends when it has been fun, difficult, sad, boring, and anything in between, and yet we have never drifted apart. Not even a thought of it. We are friends. And maybe that’s what real friendship is. To be friends when there is no need, only the desire to be with someone for no reason other than we chose to be friends.